How heroes are created
by Hanahakk
Summary: Static and Gear gain a new team member, a young pan with amazing potential. Contains a pretty good dash of VR. Written entirely and only for Moe.


Okay, let me just be the first to say that this story is not particularly well written. Moe doesn't seem to care, though. It's a gift for her. Which is why it's V/R! YAY! It's also made out of an inside joke.

Disclaimer: I do not own Static Shock or Lord of the Rings, I just own _The Pan._

--

It was a slow evening, no bang babies at all so far. Because of that, Static and Gear were taking it easy, snuggling in the Gas Station, on a brown sofa that had been christened "Snuggle Sofa" a long time ago.

Just then, the door was knocked. The young heroes rose reluctantly from the sofa, thinking it might be Shebang coming for a visit again but wanting to cuddle a bit longer. However, when Static opened the door, he saw that it wasn't Shebang.

There was just a little cooking pan lying on the doorstep.

Gear picked it up, feeling a little confused. Just as he did he saw two eyes staring at him, two eyes that certainly did not belong on a cooking pan. He proceeded to scream and throw it away.

"Oh my god, what IS that?" He screamed at Static, clutching his shoulders.

"It's a cooking pan, Richie. What's your problem?" Static answered, not having seen the eyes on the back of it.

"Don't say that! Now it knows my name!"

"Rich, it's a PAN. There's noting to be scared of. It has no ears."

"Oh.. well.. it has EYES! Didn't you see them? It was gross!"

"Eyes?" Static laughed. "Did you eat lint off the floor?"

"I swear, they're there!" Gear answered. Static kept looking at him, waiting for him to try and prove himself right. "I'm not picking it up again! Do it yourself!" he finally said, stomping off back to the sofa.

"..You don't like me?" Said the pan, a little muffled.

This time, Static was the one to jump.

"WHAT. WHAT IS THAT." He shouted, but lacked the right emphasis to make it an actual question.

"..You don't like me either?" Whined the pan. "I just want to help you."

"Okay.. okay." Static calmed himself down. "Who are you, why are you talking, and WHY ARE YOU A PAN?"

"Those a pretty hard questions." The pan said. "I don't know my name, I've always been a pan, and I just.. it's something I do, okay?"

Hearing the cute little sound of the pan's voice, Static calmed down and picked it up again, only to yelp and throw it away again as he looked at the horrific mockery of a face on the downside of it.

"Sorry! Sorry!" Said the pan. "I know I'm not very pretty." He sounded sad.

"Sorry, man." Static answered, still panting. "..Pan. I didn't mean to throw you. You just startled me."

"It's okay! I'm okay! And I can help you. I really want to help." Said the pan.

"Well, okay then." Static still sounded puzzled. "Come on in if you want to. Or I could just carry you." He grabbed the pan, careful to keep its face siding away from view, and carried it in. "Rich.. Gear! There's somebody I want you to meet!" He shouted into the Gas Station.

"Let me guess, it's the pan I just told you was alive, isn't it?" Gear shouted back grumpily.

"Yeah.. how did you.. Nevermind. He says he wants to help."

"Great, he can heat the tacos."

"No! Not the face! I need it for talking!" The pan cried. Gear jumped a bit from hearing its voice.

"Relax, you don't have to heat anything." Static said reassuringly. The pan just sounded too adorable.

Just then, Backpack went off.

"You're seriously gonna take the pan with you, V?" Gear asked as he jumped to the door while putting on his boots.

"Wull, yeah, sure, he says he wants to help." Static answered. "Also, hero names. We're on a mission now." Gear snickered at his boyfriend's hypocrisy.

They arrived downtown to discover the HotStreak/Ebon hybrid pretty much ruining a concert hall.

"Long time since we've seen those guys again, huh, Gear?" Said Static.

"You know, they compliment each other nicely. They're what the Balrog should have looked like." Said Gear.

"Balrog?"

"Lord of the Rings. Horrific monster of darkness and fire. Killed all of Moria. Minor villain. Died in his first appearance."

"Okay." Static said as he launched into battle. "You clearly outgeek me."

"PAN POWER!" The cooking pan shouted in a helium-like voice and rolled itself into the flames.

"You take out the Ebon side, I'll try to knock out HotStreak!" Gear shouted at Static, throwing a liquid Nitrogen-bomb at the flaming one.

As much as Static and Gear fought, the Ebon/HotStreak hybrid had the upper hand, injuring the two heroes so that they were forced to retreat into an allyway.

"Where's the pan?" Static panted.

"What?"

"The pan. That little one with the cute voice!"

"Oh.. I think it's still inside."

"Inside?!" Static panicked. "You mean inside the flaming house with a twoheaded, double-powered bad guy that just kicked our asses? Is that what you mean?"

"Yeah. But when you put it that way, he's probably dead. Poor thing." Gear patted Static on the shoulder as they heard cheers coming from the street they just ran from. Even though they wre injured, with Gear's leg practically useless and Static's hand broken, they just had to go get a better look.

The pan stood triumphantly over the limp body of HotStreak and Ebon, and the crowd cheered. Today, the pan didn't hide its face. Today, the pan didn't lie motionlessly on the ground. Today, the pan smiled as a giant green ray picked him up and pulled him towards a spaceship.

"Goodbye, my friends! Thank you so much for your help!" The pan called. "Thanks to Static and Gear, I can finally return to my home planet as a great warrior! Farewell!"

Touched, Static brushed a tear off his cheek, while Gear looked at the spaceship in awe. Never before had he seen such complicated and fascinating technology, not even in his own mind.

"Well, that went well." Static quipped and put a hand on Gear's back.

"I was wondering," Richie whispered, his brain had obviously been racing at lightspeed again. "What do you think he does at his home planet?"

--

"HAHAHA! BOW TO ME, BREAKERS OF LAW! I'M BACK, I'VE COME TO PUNISH YOU FOR YOUR HORRIBLE MISDEEDS!" The pan shouted triumphantly at a group of pan-teenagers, who proceeded to roll their eyes.

THE END.


End file.
